I am at a breaking point. Or, perhaps, I'm already broken. Sin has crept into my life and, like a virus, has infected my soul. What sin, might you ask? Bluntly, laziness. Oh, I have many reasons, I suppose: I am exhausted, I am busy, I have a billion things going on. All of this is true but none serve as an adequate excuse. So, here's the deal: I have decided I am tired of being isolated from my creator. I am ready to feel as I once did. I am ready to have what I once had. I am ready to respect myself again. I'm sick and tired of who I have become. I am doing something about it now. I am praying.
Prayer, the quintessential tool for reacquainting myself with God, and, subsequently, with myself. My real self.
Not that there has to be a method to communicating with God, but, me being me, I have developed an order for myself. A challenge, of sorts, if you will. This isn't the kind of challenge I am inviting others to do with me. There will be no 'tagging of ten friends' or anything like that. I am simply praying through the bible, one chapter at a time. I don't have a fancy reading order. I will just start in the beginning. (No pun intended. If I hash-tagged I would say something like #igotjokes #biblegrad.)
So, why share? Why blog?
A. It's cathartic
B. It promotes adherence to my goal
C. The transparency will help me
D. Maybe someone else might benefit
All of that being said, I started with Genesis 1. Here are a few things that stood out for me:
This book begins with describing the creation of the world. All things existed in chaos. I remember once upon a time being smart enough to know that this is a cross-cultural theme of the period; it was not just an Israelite idea. So, God goes about ordering the chaos, mastering it, if you will. I really love here how God's breath/wind/spirit, (Hebrew word, ruach) hovers over the the face of the waters. There is also all this cool word play going on with the Hebrew word for face/presence. So, the Spirit/presence of God orders the chaos and creates light from darkness. God also brings separation/distinction to creation. It is very comforting to me that God is able to bring light, order and distinction to a formless dark void, which is how I feel about the condition of my soul here lately.
Here is something else I find here in the first chapter of Genesis that reminds me of His goodness. God goes on creating all living things, plants, fish, birds...you know the story. All along he has mankind in mind. He creates humanity and says, 'hey, look at all this cool stuff I made you; its all yours.' (Paraphrasing mine, obviously.) Essentially, He prepares the gift for mankind prior to even creating us. How good is God?
So, I pray that your power to bring light, order and distinction to dark formless voids works in my life to bring about change within me. Let me rely upon your provision that was already there prior to me taking my first breath. Thank you for your creative power. Now, create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Amen.
